Thursday, August 23, 2012

A New Day

Aug 23 2012
So I’ve decided to make a life change. In just about every aspect of my life, I’m not happy with what I have become. So I’m taking this time to work on myself. I wanted to document the highs and lows of this with my blog. Here are the events as they have affected my life.
I was let go of my job at Dell. It was a mutual decision between management and me, but it came down to the fact that this was not a job that I liked nor had a desire to be in. It was hurting me to get out of bed. I had lost quite a bit of my work friends during my maternity leave and it was just easier when I was single and had no other responsibilities. So I left and had a few options at hand.
While I was in my last week I started looking for other options for full-time employment I was presented with a sales supervisor role in a different company  but essentially with the same tasks and struggles. Was this really what I wanted?
So I slept on it and came to the conclusion that I wanted to go back in the medical field. Prior to going back to Dell I was a Pharmacy Tech and absolutely loved my job. I hated not making much money so decided to go back to Dell in 2011, because if I didn’t take the chance I would never know how I felt. With some research and using some resources I had from those previous jobs at pharmacies I decided to take a leap and go back to school to pursue a Nursing Degree as a RN.
This was a big step and I would not have done it without the support of my family and friends. I’m so excited in this time to go back to school and not only teach my brain how to think and study again, but also to learn a whole new field of study that I’m actually passionate about. After completing this degree I would like to move forward to be a diagnostic sonographer should that still be an option at that time.
My next task in being unemployed was my actual health. With every day that I wasn’t working I spend these days with Harper. But as the summer is closing it makes it harder to be creative on a budget. But I do make it a point to do active things. I also started a Couch to 5K app again to get back into running. Each day is a struggle with that app but I always felt so accomplished after I was done and started to crave that accomplishment. So now I’ve trained my body to run and love running again. My issue is and always has been over eating. I was finish running 3 miles then come home and make a sandwhich… and some chips and salsa… and a banana… and a sleeve of Oreos…. I wasn’t even hungry. I just eat because I’m bored or sad, or lonely, or happy. On a scale of 1 -10 if I’m not at inbetween a 4-7 ratio, I’m eating.
So I’ve taken it upon myself to join a support program for Biggest Loser that meets on Wednesday nights with weigh ins and homework to redesign how I eat and how I think about eating. I’m hoping this will be all the right steps to get me back to my happy place.
Dating on the other hand has been one devastation after another. So I’m going to take a step back in the dating scene. Whether platonic or not, I have enough to distract me with and I think that it is not a priority for my life right now. Granted last time I said that I met a guy I dated for over 2 years. So I’m really going to try to stick to my guns with my rule here. I think it will redirect the way I treat men as well.  So here goes nothing….