Friday, May 27, 2011

Moving Day

So the time has come to flee the coop. I've spent the last 2 years with my daughter living in the extra room at my parents house. A lot of people think this means that my parents raised my daughter. Unfortunatley TV shows can steer people to imagine that. And if I was 16 that would make sense, but I'm not and they didn't. I like most other single mom's leave a full time job at 5pm - ish, steam with my road rage in traffic accross town for an hour to walk into a house with all 3 people there, my daughter, mom and dad. In some cases I get lucky where my mother would make a home cooked dinner for all of us, but in most cases it was as follows.
5:45ish pull into the driveway and collect all things to go in the house with. Including my purse, gymbag, laptop and whatever toy/doll Harper brought in the car that morning when I dropped her off at daycare.
5:50p - open the door 1/4 inch to hear Harper yell "MOMMY HOME!!!" and come screaming my way a full steam ahead speeds. Usually with no time to drop all of my things I just add her to the 30 lbs of stuff I've already got weighing me
5:55p - Parents give me the update on the poops/pees, attitude and food intake within the last hour and I don't see them again other than a pass by in the kitchen.
6p - At this point, I've put everything up and am attempting to get comfortable. But I've already started my 2nd full time job as a "one person parent team".

Speaking of getting comfortable, there are a lot of things that creep me out about how much I'm like my mother because of the fact that I see us as 2 different people. I remember my mom used to come home from work and within 5 minutes she would have her makeup off and some sort of moo moo on. I remember thinking why does she get in her pajamas so early. Well now, I totally get it. The only thing that is usually my priority when I walk in the door is, 'i just want to take this bra and these heels off'.

Anyway, back to the point. Last weekend was rather overwhelming. I was so excited to move. I would have a place to organize my shoes and a walk-in closet. A bathtub! Not just a bathtub (which we don't have at my parents house, just showers) but a garden tub! Harper has her own room and bathroom where I let her pick out the decor, to a degree. My own washer and dryer. My own designs and pictures. Finally I would be able to walk from my bathroom to my closet without covering my lady bits! I just was so relieved and thought that day would never get here!
But that day did. Friday, I moved a few things that I bought brand new and just got it all out of the boxes and put up. I couldn't wait to get the furniture in and start decorating.
Saturday morning I wake up at 7am, start packing a little. But I go to pick up my u-haul with my brother and then stop by Mattress Firm to get Harper's new mattress. I got her a queen size bed because it was the same as the full size bed that I was originally looking for.
I drop off the mattress with my brother and head over to my parents to start packing. As I'm packing I realize how much stuff I had, and how much stuff I didn't have anymore. I sold a lot of stuff when I moved back in with my parents to make ends meet when Harper was born, but also to make more room for us there too. So the initial cost of getting up to living standards was WAAAY more than I had planned for. So the fact that I felt like I was bleeding money I didn't have yet was weighing down on me a little.
Once we got the truck and cars packed we headed over to the new place. As my brothers start piling things in my empty dining room I start delegating each thing to them. "That goes in my bedroom, thats Harper's bathroom". I slowly started getting more and more overwhelmed. What if this doesn't fit. What if Harper doesn't like it. What if all she does is ask to go home and scream for Mimi and Poppy (My parents). It just became way too much.
It got to the point where I was sitting on my patio drinking straight out of the bottle Pinot Grigio and sobbing to my brother (the glasses were still packed). I had to call my mom who was really the only one that could calm me down. She also eventually showed up and helped me. It was really hard for me to unpack and organize Harper's room. So she did that and it helped tremendously.

Needless to say, the day Harper came home with me (she stayed at her dad's during the move). I took her to the pool, which she calls the "ocean". She loved it. We skyped all the grandparents that night to which she was so excited to show off her new room too. But a few times she did say "Mommy, I go home now". to which I would reply this is where we live now. She only did it for a couple of days. Now as soon as I pick her up she immediatley says "Mommy, I go new house". It warms my heart to hear it. I definetly am enjoying my time with her more. We are getting in a routine and she continues to amaze me everyday.

I couldn't be happier, other than if I weren't in so much debt now. Either way, I wouldn't change anything about where we are.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Thank You Thank You Thank You

So I have to first apologize for asking Teddy to feature my blog, then getting so wrapped up in my own life that I never took the time to actually come back and check out what was going on.
With that being said, I got a new phone and I figured out how to link all my email accounts together. When all the responses popped up, I was shocked. Not only at the amount of responses, but your kind words soothed my chaotic soul this morning.
I feel horrible for taking so long. But I hope that you accept my apologies. But I also want you to know that it means the world to me for you to read my blogs. It is therapy for me and your reponses were overwhelming for me. Just simple words and the smallest things go a long way.
I really appreciate all of you and keep reading.